How I Reconnected with My Estranged Father

The key is forgetting the past and accepting the person I am seeing, not the one I have imagined.

The first time I have met my father face-to-face I was 27. It happened this summer, in the middle of a pandemic, after I have written him a message on Facebook, texting my number and asking to give me a call. He did.

It was the strangest conversation I have ever had.

Hearing my father for the first time in my entire life hit me pretty hard. I had no idea how you suppose to act in situations like that, so my voice trembled all of the time and I couldn’t form coherent sentences. It’s good that I didn’t cry. He was anxious as well, talking non-stop. At the end of the call, I said that I would like to meet him soon, and he agreed.

A couple of weeks after, we both have travelled to see each other, as we live in different states. As I was sitting down in a restaurant looking at a stranger with eyes just like mine, I didn't know what to say. Or rather, where to start. Because boy oh boy, there were so many things I wanted to tell this man.

But after a few moments, I realized that most of them didn’t even matter because I did not come there to fight, I came there to meet my father and, if things go well, possibly form a connection with him.

I know firsthand how hard it is to build a relationship you never had but always wanted, especially when you are an adult. Five months ago, I didn’t believe that was even possible because I thought it was already too late. Turned out I was wrong.

The bad news is that it’s quite the task. Fortunately, my father and I are doing pretty good because both of us have taken some important steps, and our bond is getting stronger every day.

So, here’s how we were able to forge our connection and build a strong foundation for what I hope will be a true daddy-daughter relationship that lasts a lifetime.

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